Currently reading: This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
BBC’s Bad Wolf→ a Doctor Who spinoff about Rose and the metacrisis Doctor building their life together in Pete’s World (and beyond).
Now you see them, on some planet, Earth perhaps, but likely not. You see them emerge from a police box and you wonder what these two people—one blonde with pink cheeks and the other lanky with tussled brown hair—were doing in that big blue box. The rings gleam on their left fingers as he takes her hand. The woman looks up, smiling with her tongue curling over her teeth and lip.
You see them skip over to some market, chatting with the locals, and in-between, catching the other’s eye and pressing kisses to lips and hands. You look at their love and are envious.
But what you, standing just meters from where that blue box appeared, don’t see is the time it took them to get there, you don’t see the struggle. You don’t see him—the Doctor—forgetting to sleep or her—Rose—berating him, begging him to be less reckless. He only has one life, after all.
You don’t see them piecing together their lives after being viciously ripped from another, working on what it means to be in love in a different world with a different set of hearts, only two between the both of them this time. You don’t see the months, the years it takes to grow their own TARDIS, replacing trips to Woman Wept with an airplane to Italy. And you don’t see them come to realize that, even after all this time, some pint of the Bad Wolf still lives in her. And as he is part Time Lord, both of them age far slower than their human bodies ought to.
But here they are now. Off in the cosmos, you get this odd feeling that these strangers you’re watching are exactly as they should be: in some market, on some foreign land, together.
The white luminosity of the sunlight breaking into their eyes strays their vision momentarily. The blueness of the TARDIS fades in and out and eventually its sound melds into the crashing waves and then disappears.
There is a quiet lush sound of the water licking the sand.
Rose Tyler is brave, she has never not been. He, on the other hand, feels like a coward. He is everything he had wanted to give her, but suddenly the emptiness in the air, absent of the sound of the blue box, pries into him and the unfurling and sharp whipping of her blonde hair almost fills the void, but doesn’t.
He realizes he is afraid; he is more afraid than he can remember, more than when he faced the devil, more than when lost Rose to this parallel world, more than when the thought slipped through his brain that Rose might not love this version of him.
And as she smiles uncertainly at him, he smiles back and it almost reaches his eyes. She falters.
They know they have each other.
But as they both glance back to the messy traces in the sand where the TARDIS had stood, the harbinger of their love and tragedy, they wonder if that will be enough.
With the little time he has on screen, TenToo is one of the most widely discussed and debated characters in New Who. Personally, I’m a big fan of him. He certainly is a heavy character for the few scenes he is in. I’m going to try to argue why TenToo and Rose are my OTP, and why they are, indeed, the same man.
→8 TIMES THE DOCTOR MEANT TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” AND ONE TIME HE DID
The whisper and kiss on Bad Wolf Bay.
Maybe the viewers didn’t get to hear what the metacrisis Doctor whispered in Rose’s ear, but we all know, unequivocally, he finally got to tell Rose he loved her, after all that time of bottling it up. TenToo, though most certainly the same man, is nevertheless a different kind of creature. Obviously, he is far more human, but not only physically, but mentally. With that touch of human instinct, TenToo was able to release all the emotions the Doctor felt for Rose, while the original Doctor never could. Finally, Rose and the Doctor get their happy ending.
“That’s it! The las’ ‘un!” The Doctor said proudly, as he sucked on a candy cane, hanging the last of them on the tree. Four other empty wrappers were scattered at his bare feet, whose toes scrunched into the carpet of the apartment. His hair was distorted in all sorts of unseemly positions, his sugar high illustrated all over his face. With his birth into humanity, his oral fixation had not disappeared and candy canes were a perfect drug to feed his addiction.
“Rose! Rose!” he called, carrying his voice through the few rooms that separated them.
“What?” yelled Rose from the bedroom.
“Come here!” The Doctor ran around the tree, inspecting each and every detail. The ornaments they had bought together shined magnificently against the glow of the colored lights, and the whole picture was just being brought together by the steady rise of presents. He bent down to inspect them, eyeing them excitedly and not a bit greedily, picking at the bows and smoothing out the wrapping. This was his first proper Christmas with Rose, in their new life and their new home and his new body, and he wanted to do it right.
“Doctor!” Rose said loudly, directly behind him. At sound of her voice, the surprised Doctor abruptly hit his head against the bottom of the pine, knocking a few ornaments off the tree and tangling himself in the line of little lights. A few glass bulbs shattered around him. The Doctor rolled around onto his back, looking up to see Rose laughing at him, blonde hair in her face. He reached his hand into his pocket, pulling out a candy cane, and held it out to her, “Candy cane?” he said sheepishly, as Rose shook her head, amused.
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 |
The first sound Rose heard was shaky laughter. The Doctor’s hands were running over her face and shoulders, smoothing her clothes out. The sound of wind reverberated through her ears. She was outside. Rose groaned, her eyes shut, not ready to face the daylight. “Rose!”
“Mmmm.”
“Rose Marion Tyler!” She jerked open her eyes to find the Doctor’s wan and bloodied, but elated face inches from her own. “That’s it,” he said. “Wakey-wakey.”
“Don’t wanna,” she murmured.
“You’re home, Rose. Everything’s fine.” His voice turned serious. Rose fully brought herself out of the trough of unconsciousness. A kaleidoscope of sense fell upon her. For the first time, Rose saw they were, in fact, in her backyard again. She and the Doctor were positioned in the center of a devastation of metal scraps and grey sand. Rose also noticed, to her dismay, the had landed atop her mother’s flower bed.
“Oh, Mum’s not gonna be pleased,” she said quietly to which the Doctor let out another quivering laugh. He seemed to have been crying. She watched him noiselessly, still sprawled on the ground. Abruptly, he lifted her and held her against his chest, head in the crook between her neck and shoulder. He planted wet kisses along her neck and in her hair, hands gripped around her back as if he thought if he let go she would dissolve into the air.
“Rose, I thought you were dead.”
“Nah, not me,” Rose smiled as he pulled away. She ran a hand through his hair, feeling the muck of dry blood. As she sat up, her hand settled in a pile of ash. “What…” And then her face became drawn. “Did I… Is this the aliens?” The Doctor nodded, not taking his eyes off of her. “Oh, god. I killed ‘em!” she said, horrified. “Doctor! There were so many of them… And they were the last of their kind,” Rose said mournfully. She and the Doctor were kneeling in a graveyard.
“It wasn’t your fault, Rose. Listen to me.” He brought her face to eye level with him. “It’s mine.”
“But how could it be your fault? ‘M the one that killed them…”
“You remember how I told you to control the Bad Wolf?” She nodded. “You shouldn’t have. If you had released it just minutes before you had, they would have won. They would have gotten the power.”
“I don’t-“
“But you did hold it, Rose. You let it boil over until you couldn’t control it, at all. It’s like when you’re little and you build up the idea of getting a shot at the doctor’s until when you get there, you’ve made it worse than you have to. You held in all that power until it just shot out of you, and killed every living thing except who the Bad Wolf swore to protect.”
“You,” Rose whispered.
“Yes, me,” the Doctor smiled sadly. “Only, I thought it had killed you too when we got here, like on Satellite Five. I couldn’t check on you until I landed the TARDIS. Almost couldn’t do that either. You torn it to pieces. It’s a good thing I’m clever, or else we would have never landed alive.”
“You woke up?”
“Just in time,” he smiled.
“But if the Bad Wolf killed every living thing, including that TARDIS… what about the coral?” She was almost afraid to ask. “It’s gone isn’t it?”
The Doctor smirked, and pulled the small, sprouting coral out of his pocket. “Even the Bad Wolf must have known what it means to us. Do you understand everything now?”
She nodded slowly. “I think so. So you knew? The whole time? You risked the TARDIS coral and everything?”
“I couldn’t think of anything else. Besides, you’re worth more than the coral. I could bear living without it, but I’m not so sure I could do the same with you,” the Doctor admitted sheepishly. “I should’ve killed them myself,” he added, seething.
“No,” Rose said, shaking her head. “Should’ve given them a second chance, really.”
“But… Rose! They were going to kill you. They kidnapped us and the coral almost broke!” The Doctor was astounded. Rose sat there, after her mind barely surviving the Bad Wolf for a second time, after being abducted, after being forced to watch him be injured, after being threatened herself, and she still had compassion and pity. His lips were parted and his jaw hung a little in surprise, but in complete admiration of the woman in front of him. It was true, he did need her. He felt vengeful and angry, like he could destroy those aliens’ planet a hundred times over and Rose wished she could have spared them. She was certainly making him better.
“Rose, you’re brilliant. Have I ever told you that?” he said weakly.
“Not nearly enough,” she replied, her tongue peeking through her teeth, nudging him playfully the shoulder.
“Well, you are.”
Rose giggled and leaned in to kiss him. His still-bandaged hand wrapped through her golden hair. Rose could taste the blood on his lip, but she didn’t care; she needed to feel he was real. “I love you, you know,” she said.
Meters away, a house door opened to the backyard and the high-pitched voice of Jackie yelled, “What the hell happened?”
The Doctor and Rose looked at each other and laughed.
Three days later, after the garden was cleaned, after the TARDIS coral was planted and constantly nurtured by the Doctor, and after three days of kisses and spending their nights together, the Doctor and Rose found themselves laid out on a newly bought trench coat in the center of the garden. Flowers towered above them and trees casually dropped scarlet leaves every once in a while. The night was pleasant, like one might expect a summer evening to be, but delightfully fresh. The wind struck their faces, reminding them they were alive. The pair stargazed. The Doctor pointed to individual stars in the purple sky and told Rose about their wonders and the civilizations that inhabited the neighboring planets. They giggled and kissed and held one another close.
Rose turned on her side, propping herself up with her elbow and asked a question she had been thinking about. “Doctor, you know you said the Bad Wolf stayed before? Do you think it’s still there?”
“Yes, Rose. I do. The Bad Wolf is an entity. It may dormant for now, but you never know when it’ll come back out.”
“Oh. And… what do you think that means?”
The Doctor sighed. He knew he should have expected questions from the ever-curious Rose. “Well, it means a few things. One, I can’t ever let you out of my sight.” He grinned. “And two, well, you might still get those headaches once in a while. Not often, but if something happens you might feel it. Or see it, even.”
“So what… I can see the future?”
“Something like that. And…” he hesitated. “It means you won’t age the same way as other people.” The Doctor looked deeply into her watchful eyes and grazed her pink cheek. “You’ll stay young longer. You’re still mortal, but considerably less so. You’ve got some years ahead of you, Rose.” Rose didn’t speak. The Doctor took her hands and kissed her forehead. “Are you scared?” he asked.
“Not really. Not yet. I mean…” she looked up at him with big eyes. “What about you? I don’t want to live without you.”
“Well, we can hope, I suppose, that my half Time Lord biology will give me some extra years too.”
“Is that likely?”
“I should think so,” he smiled, squeezing her hand.
“So we’ll be together?” she asked.
“Forever.”
They smiled at one another for a moment and then returned to watching the stars’ illumination through the dark night. Rose snuggled into the Doctor’s side and he wrapped his unbroken arm around her, kissing her temple. Staring up at the universe, they could see nothing but wide sky. Blues and white swirled together through the black, floating like a liberated ocean. Rose imagined a thousand suns burning and dying nebulae imploding, leaving the dust of its million years out in the middle of space where no one could see. She heard the Doctor breathe contentedly next to her. He was healing, she realized. And one day, he’d be better and she would be there with him, flying through universe like a couple of gypsies, fascinated by anyone and everyone. She felt like the grass under his trench coat was suspending them off the ground. Golden bells tinkled within her, and Rose knew, finally knew, that they would always be made of stardust, forever tied to the skies themselves.
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 |
“Doctor!” Moaning as he roused, the Doctor breathed in sharply. “Come on, now. Get up.” Rose cushioned the back of his head and bit her lip as she waited for him to wake. He blinked.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she smiled, still holding the back of his head.
“You’re alright, then. What happened?”
“I dunno. I only just woke up and I saw you next to me. Doctor, where are we?” The two stood, Rose pulling the Doctor up by his hand, and taking in their surroundings. The floor was a lattice of metal. Bright lights embedded into the walls shone like lanterns, emitting an uncomfortable luminescence. The ceiling reached high up, covered in fraying wires that twirled back down to a system of towering cylinders, which sunk and then rose in a steady motion. The whole of the structure was enveloped by a circular desk, laden with knobs, buttons, pulleys and the like.
“It looks like a… TARDIS,” said the Doctor, not trying to conceal his bewilderment. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, a poorly made on at that. A very poorly made one.” He approached the makeshift console, examining its intrinsic elements. Rose could see, on the screens and across the console, it was lacking the familiar organic Gallifreyan circles. It had, instead, a sort of harshly geometric text, which dissolved in and out of English. The translation circuit, it appeared, was not functioning well.
“Rose?” Rose slumped against the console, holding her head. “Rose! We need to talk about this now,” the Doctor said, supporting her against his body.
“How come I still feel it, Doctor, the Bad Wolf?”
“I don’t know, Rose. It must have… lingered. The heart of the TARDIS is unbelievably powerful, possibly the most powerful thing in the universe, and you absorbed it.”
“But you took it out. It killed you!”
“Yes, but,” the Doctor ran a hand through his hair, racking his brains, “It’s the whole of the universe, Rose. You had the entire vortex running through your head. If the Bad Wolf had seen our future, which it undoubtedly did, it would have stayed no matter what I did. Stayed, just enough to to protect you.”
“Us,” Rose corrected.
“What?”
“To protect us, Doctor. If I saw somethin’ happen to you, it’s the only reason I would’ve held on to it.” He searched her eyes.
“How long have you known?”
“I didn’t know. Not really. I’ve just gotten… these headaches ever since I got stuck here. And then it got worse, right before I came back, ‘specially when I met Donna in that parallel universe. And then the past few days…”
“What, Rose?”
“I’ve been seein’ things. It’s like… this gold light and then a picture. I think I saw you get hit by the care before it happened. And then a few hours ago…”
“What? What did you see?” he urged.
“I saw you. You were all… beat up. Your lip was busted.”
“Rose,” the Doctor lowered his voice to a petrified whisper, “I don’t think it’s me they need. It’s you.”
Laughter like a swarm of bees pumped into their ears and Rose leaned into the Doctor. “And it’s getting stronger isn’t it? Your connection. Can you feel it, Rose? The big Bad Wolf?” An immense, but humanoid, alien approached from out of the maze of the TARDIS. Rose turned her head into the Doctor’s shoulder. He was right. The dull headache she woke with was building.
“What do you want?” the Doctor yelled.
“Nothing more than our own TARDIS, Doctor. One like you had.” His voice was like slime, tinged with an accent, almost sounding polite, but perhaps, Rose thought, that’s what made him so frightening. The alien’s skin was a dead grey, with composites of pus building up over red, cracking scars. He looked worse than dead. The purple around his eyes reminded Rose of the Doctor’s sleepless nights. He pulled the pair’s TARDIS coral out of his pocket, and tossed it between his hands. “I’ve got this, and it helps, but it isn’t quite enough is it? I need more power. It needs boosting.” The Doctor glared at the alien.
“You see,” he continued, “Our planet’s been destroyed. It’s been gone for so long now, lost in the Medusa Cascade.” The alien smiled sickly at the Doctor, whose eyes flickered, but did nothing more. “Me and my fellow kind, the ones that are left, that is, were able to collect the prowess and the energy of our dead planet, and some remnants of Gallifrey. But we need somewhere to keep it, as I’m sure you’ve guessed. And you’ve brought me exactly what I need, Doctor. Oh, you lead her here. We detected you and we knew she would follow.”
“She can’t help you,” he growled.
“She can!” he bellowed, losing his falsely kind persona. “The girl has the vortex, enough to power our TARDIS. You see, Doctor, it travels in space but not time. We need her for that. We need her clairvoyance. It’s that simple.”
“But I can’t!” Rose exclaimed over the drumming in her head. “I don’t know how to control it! I keep it a bay. That’s all.”
“Liar!” the alien thundered. He hiked towards the Doctor and pulled him away from Rose.
“Let him go!” Rose said defiantly. The Doctor stood compliantly under the alien’s grip, hoping if he was patient, he could talk sense into him, or else escape. If not, he was ready to kill. The alien’s nails dug into his clothes, tearing the fabric, puncturing his skin. “Let him go!”
“Hush! You will obey me. I’m not alone, you know. There are plenty more like me aboard the ship.” And suddenly Rose heard a dreadful hissing from within the dark labyrinth of the TARDIS, from all around her, making her shudder.
“But I can’t…” she said weakly, feeling the build-up in her brain.
“You will or I will hurt him,” the alien replied.
“I can’t,” she repeated, feeling stupid.
He grabbed the Doctor’s arm and pulled it roughly behind his back, twisting it slightly, causing the Doctor to gasp in pain. “Human bodies break so easily, don’t they Doctor? The Time War broke through every universe. Each one. And it was all you, Doctor. My home, my people. Lost in fire,” he snarled. “How convenient that I get both the girl and you? See what you do to the people you become close to?” he spat. “If I can’t have your original self, this one will be good enough. The second best. Isn’t that right, child?”
“Doctor, why can I feel it? Why here?” Rose blinked, ignoring the alien. Tears ran down her cheeks.
“It’s the combination of everything,” the Doctor choked out, under the pressure on his arm. “This TARDIS, our coral, the Bad Wolf trying to protect us. It can feel something wrong, and it’s centered here. It’s fighting to come out. But don’t let it Rose. Don’t let it!” He screamed wretchedly as the alien twisted his arm further. Rose heard a terrible crack and she knew it was broken. The Doctor fell to the ground, nursing his fractured arm. Rose started to run towards him, but the Doctor yelled, “Stop! Rose. Stay where you are. Stay at the console. Control it.” She halted, the whole of her vision swimming in a golden hue. “Hold it, Rose. Control it.”
“It hurts.”
“I know. Hold it.”
“Shut up!” the alien yelled, grabbing the Doctor’s hair and yanking him upwards. He slashed his cheek with his nail and the Doctor flinched. “No regeneration now, Doctor. No healing coma, no second chances. Would you really spare your own life, or hers for a little bit of power?” The Doctor gritted his teeth and said nothing. The alien threw him on the ground, and the half Time Lord cut open his lip on the metal grating. He grunted, bleeding and tired, into the floor. His human body lacked the strength to stand.
“Rose…”
She couldn’t control it much longer. Rose saw her Doctor laying on the floor, she saw the alien’s menacing face, his hands clutching their coral, and she felt the TARDIS’ hums whirling under her feet. There was no time to evaluate her situation. The waves of the Bad Wolf’s power were consuming her, heralding the noise of a hundred billion galaxies, of a every supernova exploding in her ears, and the stars washing in burning white-gold.
Rose went temporarily blind. She could hear the Doctor’s ragged breaths and the alien’s rapture as he saw the gold begin to swirl around Rose as she became, once more, the Bad Wolf. She heard another anguished scream from the Doctor. The alien waited enticingly, ready for his TARDIS to swallow up the power it needed to steer him into time and space, revengeful for his people, for his home.
A breeze bristled her skin and she felt the gold overtake her.
She could see again, through the shroud of the Bad Wolf. The Doctor lay unconscious under the foot of his captor, who grinned maniacally. She could see her future of vagabonds traversing across the universe, and of her past that beat darkly and longingly in her heart, and of the present, of the Doctor who loved her, and who she loved. She could feel his skin against hers and the gale of desire and compassion and lust and joy and bitterness. The Bad Wolf rose her hand and released the power within her.
For a moment, the alien cackled joyfully. But then, as the Bad Wolf brought the vigor of her strength down onto the TARDIS, it lost control. The ship shook and tumbled. The alien lost the TARDIS coral as it flew out of his hands. The Doctor slid across the floor, hitting his head against the console. There was a volley of golden fire that burst from Rose’s body and the ship’s wiring sparked. Bits of the floor caught fire and the cylinders steering the ship jutted and gushed with their gears. The alien was screaming cries of fear and rage. His fellow kind flew from out of their hiding places like bats, joining him in the center of the console room, huddling together like scared children. And with another barrage of gold, the Bad Wolf dissolved the aliens into dust.
Rose shook. Her body and her mind hurt. She dropped to her knees, the Doctor’s body beside her. She saw the pallor of his skin shining brightly under the blood that seeped out of the wound on his cheek and in his hairline. And yet, the Bad Wolf sighed happily when she saw her Doctor breathing and the enemy destroyed. Rose plummeted into unconsciousness as the TARDIS exploded around her.
| part 9 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 |
The big bad wolf. The words echoed through her head, flogging at her mind.
“Doctor! Doctor, where are you?” Rose yelled urgently. “Doctor!” She ran upstairs, becoming dizzy. At the top of the staircase, she had to hold onto the railing to steady herself. First she jogged to her own room, searching the drawer where she had left the TARDIS coral wrapped up in her indigo jacket. She threw out the pieces of clothing, digging for the coral. It wasn’t there. Okay, no big deal, Rose thought, The Doctor’s probably got it.
But he wasn’t in his room either. Rose stared out his bedroom window and saw Jackie pulling out of the drive way with Tony. The other car was gone as well. She was alone in her house, missing a Doctor. A migraine was building in Rose’s head, and with each thump of her feet carrying her back down the stairs it pounded horribly. Outside. The garden. Perfect place to grow something, right? Everything looked fuzzy, every shape blended into the next. She could hear herself garbling the Doctor’s name as she forced her legs to make their way promptly to the back yard.
Autumn leaves spurred around her head. “Doctor!” she yelled. “Doctor! I need you.” A burst of golden light almost knocked her senseless. “Doctor!” Rose tripped and landed on the grass. She could feel the earth spinning like she were atop a roller coaster. “Where are you?” she said into the ground.
“Rose?” That sweet melody of a voice was just enough to pull her out of the burning sensation that still tickled her mind.
“Doctor?” Brown hair and a bundle of pinstripes came hovering in front of her. There were hands on her, rough but at the same time gentle, and clammy. Her head cleared upon his touch and she saw he was scared. More than scared, even. Terrified.
“Rose, listen to me.” He cupped her face with both hands and wiped away a tear. He spoke gravely and with a desperation that made Rose tremble. “You’ve got to get out of here. Run, just run. They’ve found us. I can hold them off. Get up! Go, Rose, go!” She could hardly move. The Doctor lifted her onto her knees and kissed her passionately, also kneeling. “Go, please. They’re coming.” She collapsed into him.
“I can’t… My head…”
“Rose, Rose.” She could feel wetness on his face as he pressed his cheek against hers, hands streaming through her hair.
“Doctor, take th’ coral and go. You go. You’re more importan’ ‘n’ me.” Her words slung together.
“No.”
“They’ll kill you to get it,” she cried.
“I’m not leaving you. You wouldn’t leave me.” His forehead found hers and he gasped out loud. He backed away. “Rose… What’s happening? What are you doing?”
“‘S my head…”
“Rose, I could feel the vortex. I can feel time.” In his head too, the vortex flung white stars and golden images of the past and future and present, intertwining and mixing. It wasn’t as he had known it before. If felt chaotic, unruly, like ghouls chasing their innocence away. Neither human could control it. He held onto her temples as if it were a drug.
Rose was the first to swoon. The Doctor gathered up in his arms, bending over her, feeling the power of the Bad Wolf surge through his human body. He cradled the TARDIS coral in his hand, protective of the little sprouts budding out of it. And then he felt grotesque hands on his shoulders, hallowing out his skin with their nails of stone. He yelled out, blackness drowning him, and their grip tightened. Alien voices speaking words he could only just understand, alien hands stealing the coral and their bodies, alien beings taking them far away.
| part 8 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 |
The following morning Rose woke up without the Doctor beside her. She sighed, but in truth, she hadn’t really expected him to stay. Traveling down to the kitchen where he usually waited for her, Rose was taken aback when she saw him at the stove, making breakfast.
“Morning!” he chirped happily, kissing Rose on the cheek. She touched the skin where she could feel the tingle of his lips and unshaven skin.
“Mornin’,” she replied, dumbstruck.
“I made breakfast!” said the Doctor, proudly. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and piles of eggs, toast, and sausage, and cups of tea next to plates were laid out on the dinner table.
“Why have you got plasters around your fingers?”
“Burnt them,” he said. “This stove is incredibly technologically behind. Really, Rose, it would have been a breeze if you had been from the 31th century instead. But no, you had to go and be born in the 20th.” He smiled cheekily at her.
“Oi!” she joked. Seeing him cheerful first thing in the morning was a nuance, and so Rose was more than happy to play along.
“Well! Breakfast is served! Dig in!”
“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Rose asked through a mouthful.
“Nah! I took plenty of nibbles while I was cooking. Besides, don’t want to work on a too-full stomach.”
“Work where?”
“Well, Rose, I think it’s high time get started on growing our TARDIS, don’t you?” Rose surveyed him, trying to pry open his thoughts.
“Couldn’t that be dangerous?” she asked carefully.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, cause, you know. Those aliens. What if they find it and it’s already part way grown?”
“They won’t,” he said sternly. “I promise.” The Doctor held Rose’s stare. He reached out for her hands across the table. “And anyways, I can’t- I can’t stay here, Rose. Not forever. Not even for much longer.” She began to speak but he cut her off. “Just listen for a moment. I think it’s brilliant, this place. And your family has invited me in so quickly and I really do owe them. But it’s not just this place, Rose. It’s any place. I can’t stay for that long. And it’s going to take months-” his voice broke, “-months for it to finish growing. I can’t wait to start another day.”
Rose smiled sweetly and ran her thumb over his hand. “I know, Doctor. You need something to do.” The Doctor smiled at her, and leaned over the table to kiss her, cupping her face with one hand. Rose reveled in his touch.
Jackie walked into the kitchen, cleared her throat and stared at them testily. Not saying anything, she walked over to the stove and began a kettle of tea. The Doctor blushed furiously, gracelessly muttering something about working on the TARDIS. He let a hand linger in her yellow hair for a moment before he left.
“So,” said Jackie. “Finally happened dinnit? You shagged him.”
“Mum!” Rose said into her tea. “Please.”
Her mother sighed heavily. “Well, might as well. It’ll keep him out of this mess,” she said shaking her head.
“What, the aliens? Is it really that bad?”
“Rose, honey, it’s bad.”
“What happened exactly?”
“I’m not so sure myself… Pete came home in the middle of the night, screamin’ something about messages. I guess it was just chaos at the headquarters. They don’t recognize ‘em and that scares your father ‘cause those aliens have got such a grip on what’s going on here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, for starters, they know he’s not a Time Lord, sweetie. They know he’s only part and they think it’ll be easier to take the TARDIS because of it. They can track him down like that. We’ve got… we’ve got to do something. We don’t have a lot of time. Pete didn’t mention it last night because we didn’t know how he’d react. But they will find him if we don’t do something. And fast.”
Rose’s mind was racing. Her stomach plummeted and suddenly she felt nauseous. A hot flash burned in her skull, like pieces of smoldering embers were placed into the curls of her brain, and she grabbed her head. Gold seared through her eyes and she saw the Doctor, lying somewhere cold, shivering and begging, his lip broken and his cheek sliced, bandages around his fingertips. Rose choked and then, as soon as the vision came, it was gone. She felt Jackie’s hand gripping her shoulder, speaking words of worry, but Rose wasn’t listening. She shook Jackie off, saying, “‘M fine. Just a headache. Really, Mum.”
Jackie eyed her for a minute, then sighed, defeated. “Well, I’ve got to take Tony to daycare. Wouldn’t kill you to spend some time with him, you know. He’s been learnin’ a lot and I don’t even think you’ve noticed. Came home the other day, telling me all about The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I wouldn’t really encourage that one, but he adores it. The big bad wolf,” she laughed.
Rose watched, stunned and afraid, as Jackie walked out of the kitchen, two ancient and constant words haunting her, scripting themselves across her life. She needed to find the Doctor.
| part 7 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen (has some slightly more mature content, but nothing explicit)
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |
Rose hadn’t been with him in the nights at the hospital, so she didn’t know how he sometimes shook while he slept.
The fifth night back from the hospital, a muffled scream wove into her dreams, lingered, and dissolved. A second called words she did not understand and a third broke her from her mind. Rose lifted her eyelids, her body warm under the sheets. The Doctor’s strangled cries across the hall floated in the air, reprimanding her for waiting so long to go to him. She brushed the hair out of her eyes and walked carefully to his room.
“Doctor?” she whispered, knocking on his door. There was no answer but deep whimpers. “Doctor, I’m comin’ in.”
In his bed, the blue sheets were tied around his ankles and he fought furiously against an invisible force. The musical sound of Gallifreyan words knotted in Rose’s ears when she realized he was dreaming about the war. He didn’t come back easily, but when Rose managed to haul the Doctor out of his nightmares, he lay without speaking, evening his breath and blinking out tears, while Rose gathered his head into her lap and brushed his hair. “I’m here,” she repeated. He listened, and tried to believe it. His t-shirt clung to his chest. “I’m here,” and soon he was convinced.
He sat up and said, “I’m sorry. I thought they would stop, but they haven’t. I thought because it wasn’t me— not really… But they haven’t.” His large, sad eyes looked deadly into Rose’s. “I love-I love you and I don’t deserve you.”
Rose untangled the sheets from around his ankles and enveloped him inside of them. She let her forehead fall against his, wrapping her arm around his neck. She could feel a mole between his shoulder blades. “Don’t ever say that,” she said. Rose tucked a loose piece of hair behind his ear and pushed a kiss onto his cheek, her lips brushing the very corner of his. “My Doctor.”
He looked at her for affirmation of some kind, a signal from the gods, or a message that was willing. Perhaps he found it in those kind hazel spheres trimmed with dark eyelashes because in the next second, he pulled her onto his lap and kissed her fiercely for the second time. The noise of a seashell dug into their ears, like children forcing it to make ocean sounds, and stormed through their heads until it was all they could hear. He tasted like sea mist and metal, and though his skin was vulnerable, his soul unsure, his mouth asking for permissions like she was candy in a jar, and his body easily broken, Rose found he had never seemed so full of life.
In new bodies, as new beings and new beginnings, they were writhing and rising and falling. Hips smashing and morning larks barking and sweat like spring dew in napes and over bones, and a language of guttural, sweet sounds. One breath falling into the others lungs, neither knowing whose cries were whose. It was the desperation of a latitude and longitude of a different kind of vast universe, and of a thousand years of hungry waiting. It was a mess of scared, sacred hands and wild hair and of plunging into landscapes of showering echos and tenderness. It was rolling into orbs and statues coming alive, and daring and gasping, and all too soon it was over, but both looked up and each saw the open sky.
And then there was a release of giggles, selfish for more.
“Maybe I’m looking too far into things, too far into our life, but I think I could die tonight,” the Doctor said, staring at the ceiling, an arm wrapped possessively around Rose’s smooth shoulders. In the dark, Rose imagined floating in the vortex, and suddenly she realized it was only his voice that ever made her feel like she was in the glory of the stars. She was there now. “I think maybe being human won’t be so bad.” Rose could feel him shrug.
She turned onto his chest, feeling the light fuzz on her cheek, and searched his face, believing he was something new. A twinkle in his eye sparked and she hoped he was learning to be happy. On his collar bone, which was clearly visible and highlighted by moisture, she lay her hand as if it were an anchor and they could fall overboard any moment. Pondering absentmindedly, Rose was curious to know if all people were this happy at one point in their lives. She thought maybe, but seriously doubted it. Nothing she had known before came close to this. Rose ran her hand through his hair.
“Where will we go first?” she breathed, twirling her fingers against his.
“Somewhere far,” he said achingly.
“Do you miss it?”
He paused. “Terribly.”
Rose settled down beside him. “Me too,” she said.
“Do you remember Woman Wept? Close your eyes. Can you see it?” Rose nodded against him. “Remember the frozen waves? Do you remember what I said there?” A nostalgic Northern accent slurred in her head.
“You said it doesn’t matter where you go if you don’t have someone to share it with.”
“That’s right.”
“Doctor… sometimes-sometimes I get this burn in my head. And then I see a picture, you know? It’s like-” Rose stopped talking.
Somewhere they were sure was a hundred years below them, the Doctor and Rose heard a door slam unforgivably. A stumble of feet and a clatter of dishes was almost not enough to wake them from their reverie, but the battering noises finally made the Doctor sit up alertly.
“‘S fine,” Rose whispered, trying to pull the Doctor’s shoulders back down. He sat motionless and concreted.
“Rose… Listen.” He pulled her hands away from him. Voices hushed like stage whispers, words indistinguishable, argued in the reality below.
“That’s Mum,” Rose said, flinging the sheets off of her and throwing on her t-shirt and flannel bottoms.
“And Pete,” the Doctor agreed who also got quickly dressed. The Doctor headed for the door, but Rose dashed in front of it.
“Before we go down, can we agree not to mention this yet? Please?”
“Of course, Rose.” He dropped a kiss into her hair. “Now, allons-y!” he said, grinning.
They followed the voices into the kitchen, flying down the stairs, running as if they needed to, running to save their own lives, running because it felt good to run. It felt good to be together again. And silently, they both hoped there would be danger waiting for them to eradicate. Rose wanted to stay forever like this.
The married couple muted their hectic words when the young couple stormed in.
The scene before Rose did not prove to be as romantic as she hoped. A splintered plate was distributed on the kitchen floor, in bits of blue and white. Jackie, in a bathrobe and fixed hair, wiped her eyes, one hand on her hip. Her face was raw and red. Pete matched her unkempt expression, his tie loosened and fingers rapping on the table nervously. A briefcase with papers on a chair lay forlorn. Her father’s eyes were beaten and dark circles hooped around them, telltale of something more than a bad day at work. Rose watched his limbs and their appendages twitch unrelentingly, and she wondered if he had been a smoker before she had known him.
“What’s wrong?” Rose asked. “What’s happened?” For a moment Rose saw Jackie eye her messy hair, her braless chest, her close stance next to the Doctor, and both of their bare feet, but then it was gone.
Jackie and Pete exchanged tense glances. The Doctor glared intently between them.
“Come on! What is it?” he said. “If it’s something to do with Torchwood, or aliens I can help. Is it?”
“Yes, but, the thing is, Doctor,” Pete began, “We think you ought to stay out of it.” He scratched his head.
“What?” he quipped. “If I can help people, why shouldn’t I? Besides, it would be my decision.”
“Actually, it’s not. As the head of Torchwood, I have the final say in whether you get involved or not. And frankly, Doctor, you sound almost desperate to get back into the ring.”
“Just tell me what it is!” he demanded.
“I don’t think that would be for the best.”
The Doctor started, glowering unblinkingly. Rose grabbed his arm, pushing her fingertips into his skin, holding him back, and said, “Dad, the Doctor’s right. After all, he knows all about this stuff. It doesn’t make sense for him not to help, you know?”
“Rose, sweetie, you don’t understand,” Jackie piped in. Rose let go of the Doctor. She felt a piece of ceramic crack under her foot.
“Don’t understand what? That the Doctor and I both get aliens better than either of you combined? And don’t pretend like we don’t! Because we’ve been out there, you know? We’ve seen it. Me and the Doctor, we’ve gone out past the earth more times than you can count. And the Doctor’s spent all his life protecting this daft little planet. We’ve nearly died doin’ it. More than once. And that sure as hell beats sitting in an office, scrounging up a weevil every week or so, pretendin’ like you all are some sort of alien experts when you don’t know half of what’s out there. Don’t tell me I don’t understand, Mum. I understan’ as good as anybody!” Her voice rose and her accent became more pronounced, and the Doctor wanted to kiss her. Instead, he took her hand.
“Just tell us,” Rose said through gritted teeth.
Jackie sighed and nodded at Pete, who bowed his head, rubbing his brow. “Right,” he said. “Well, we don’t really know who they are, but they do know what they want.” He looked up at the Doctor.
“What, they want… me?” He felt Rose’s hand tighten around his.
“Well, not exactly.” Pete sighed. “They want either you or the coral. Both, preferably.”
“What, the TARDIS coral? They want to grow their own TARDIS? How would they even know about it?” Rose asked the Doctor.
“Well, they wouldn’t,” he said slowly. “Unless… unless, no. They can’t! Oh, they must have a massive source of power. Ooh! Too much even! Ah! Yes! That must be it!” The Doctor paced the kitchen, not taking care for the broken plate under his feet. He held his hand up, as if a ball of energy were inside it. “That’s it, Rose! They’ve got a such a large energy source that it must be overflowing. They can’t handle it! That’s how they found me. I may be half human, but I’m still part Time Lord. And, well, that part can still be detected. It just took so much energy. Too much. Which is why they need a TARDIS, then. If they’re harnessing that power, they need somewhere to keep it, somewhere big enough to accommodate it. Plus,” he added, “TARDIS? Perfect getaway. Where is it, by the way? The coral.”
“In my room,” Rose said. “It’s um, in one of my drawers.”
“Right. Well, safe for now.” The Doctor put a hand through his messy hair.
“But why do they need you?”
“I suppose, since I’m the only Time Lord left, they need someone to grow it for them. And find me, they find the coral.”
“Which is why,” Pete interjected, “You will not being taking part in this. Torchwood can handle it on its own. You run too high of a risk being found if you join us. And if they find you, they find Rose. You two are staying out.”
“That’s just ridiculous,” Rose said. “That stuff never stopped us before. Right, Doctor?”
Running a hand over his jaw, weighing the outcomes, the Doctor said quietly, “He’s right, Rose.”
“What?”
He wheeled in place and grabbed her shoulders. “He’s right. Before, when we were out there, we had the TARDIS, and I had the sonic and all my lives to spare. We don’t have any of that anymore. We’ve lost our advantage.”
“But, Doctor-“
“I won’t be the reason you get hurt.” He swiped a thumb over her cheek. “Not now, not when we’ve gotten this far. I promised I’d take care of you, and that’s what I’m going to do.”
“We can’t stand by and watch.”
“Yes, Rose,” he said solemnly, “We can.”
| part 6 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
For the next two days, Rose visited the Doctor frequently, only leaving his room when he insisted she get some food. The Doctor didn’t like her fretting over him so much, but it was nice to have the company when he was awake. Most of the time, however, he slept and Rose watched over him, afraid that if she left something would go wrong. She hated for him to wake without her there. At night, when visiting hours were over, Jackie picked her up and the two would leave for home, after the daughter gave a kiss to the healing man’s cheek.
During the day, she talked to him while he slept, though he couldn’t hear her. Rose told him stories about the adventures they had had, particularly ones she remembered with the fondest memories and the biggest dangers.
On the third day, Rose arrived early to his room, greeting the nurses and patients along the way. She passed a little boy holding her mother’s hand wore a t-shirt with of a wolf.
“Mummy,” he said. “Can we go to the zoo soon? I want to see the wolves.”
Rose carried yellow flowers that reminded her of a planet the had once visited. She remembered how, on that day, all she could see were daffodils and dandelions reaching to the horizon, where the yellow blurred into a magnificent, blinding blue. When they had returned to the TARDIS, their clothes were covered in grass stains.
Rose opened the door quietly, as to not wake the Doctor but he was already awake. He lay, grunting in his bed, grasping the sheets, his eyebrows furrowed in discomfort. Rushing to his bedside and haphazardly setting the flower vase on the table next to him, she laid a hand on his forehead and ruffled his hair gently to which he opened his eyes.
“Rose.”
“Doctor, what’s wrong?” she said concernedly.
“It just… hurts,” he gasped. “It’s my back. It aches all over.”
“Hold on,” Rose said, “I’ll get a nurse.” The Doctor nodded. Rose bolted into the hallway and spying a nurse walking her way she said, “Oi! Excuse me, my friend… he’s in pain. He was in a car accident and he said his back hurts. He’s in that room. Just that room there,” she pointed.
“Right, miss. We’ll take care of it, don’t worry. Why don’t you head down to the lobby or the cafeteria and come up in about an hour while we take care of it?”
Rose wrung her hands, wishing to stay with the Doctor, but she only nodded silently and bustled to the cafeteria, unable to shake her nerves. At her two person table, Rose prodded at her food but did not eat. She regularly checked the clock that seemed to tick so slowly. When an hour was up, she speed walked back to room 223B.
Rose opened the door. The Doctor’s bed was empty and there were no signs of a lunch tray or a book to keep him busy. There was, however, a bottle with its tiny pills spilled over the table next to him, all about the flower vase. She picked up the bottle. It was pain killers.
“Oh no…” she whispered, dashing to find someone, anyone. The Doctor, the original Doctor, was anaphylactic to pain killers. Just one could kill him, and Rose didn’t know what they would do to this Doctor. She nearly ran into a brunette nurse approaching her as she flung the door open.
“Doctor! Where’s the Doctor? Is he okay? What’s going on!”
“Miss. Miss, relax. We’ve got a doctor on it already. The doctor is taking care of Mr. Smith, don’t worry. He’s gone into shock. He is apparently allergic to the pain meds he was given, but they’re taking care of it right at the moment. Why don’t you sit down?” The nurse grabbed Rose’s shoulders and forced her into the chair meant for sitting by the Doctor with. “We’ll keep you updated,” the woman said tonelessly as she left the room. And with that, Rose was alone. Her chin wobbled and her lip quivered as tears were threatening to fall. Quickly, Rose phoned her mum, desperately needing someone to talk to.
“Mum? Can you come to the hospital? Um… now. Yeah. I’ll tell you when you get here. Yes, Mum. Can you hurry please? Okay. Bye.” For the time Rose spent waiting for her mother, she tapped her foot on the tile floor, feeling sickened by the white walls surrounding her.
As the door swung open, revealing Jackie holding her arms out for Rose to fall into, she said, “Sweetie, sweetie, what’s wrong?” Rose buried her face into her mother’s shoulder, comforted by the arms around her.
“The Doctor… he-he’s allergic to somethin’ they gave him. I dunno what’s going to happen to him, Mum,” her voice hitched. Jackie led Rose back to the seat, only this time Rose sat, wrapping her arms around her knees on the Doctor’s bed and Jackie sat beside her, brushing her hair.
“It’s just…” Rose continued, wiping a tear from her eye. “I didn’t realize-I took him for granted, really- I didn’t realize how much I need him, you know?” She tightened the grip around her legs, rocking slightly. “It’s not the planets or the savin’ that I missed, or seein’ everything we saw. It’s him. I missed him. I miss him, Mum. And he keeps gettin’ taken away from me.”
“Shh, dear. He’ll be fine. He’s always fine,” Jackie said softly.
And she was right.
Some IVs and too much hospital food later, the Doctor was omitted. He was tired and weary and he still wore the paper bracelet with John Smith’s limited information on his wrist, but other than that he was in good spirits when Jackie drove him home. The Doctor was back in his pinstripes. He even held Tony, who had grown quite fond of him, in the backseat of the car, bouncing him on his knees and telling him stories.
“And then,” said the Doctor, “I opened the transport and a whole bunch of little gold nanogenes flew out and fixed everybody! Rose was there, you know. She helped.” Tony only laughed. “Doesn’t he believe me?” the Doctor asked Rose, who was sitting in the front seat besides her mum.
“Nah. I’ve been tellin’ him stories like that for ages. Thinks I’m making them all up.”
“You are,” Tony insisted.
“Still… got Pete’s hair didn’t he?” the Doctor noted, a pang of envy evident in his voice, as he eyed the ginger locks that covered his head. “It takes so long to drive places,” he said sleepily. Rose grinned and looked back at her Doctor who was drifting asleep against the comfortable juddering of the car in motion, arms wrapped securely around the toddler.
Jackie pulled up the gravel driveway and heaved Tony gently from the Doctor’s arms, taking him inside. Rose unbuckled herself and softly nudged the Doctor. “Doctor, we’re home. Wake up.”
“Geroff, Rose. The TARDIS is fine. Don’t worry,” he mumbled, eyes still shut.
Rose shook him again and said loudly, “Doctor.”
His eyes shot open and darted around, acclimating himself once more. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“Come on,” she said, grabbing his hand as he stumbled out of the car. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just a bit wobbly still,” he said, rubbing his head. “I’m not going to heal as quickly anymore.”
“Let’s go inside and I’ll make a cuppa, yeah?”
“Yeah. Rose,” said the Doctor, stopping her before the walked through the front door. He grabbed her shoulders. “You know I will take care of myself, don’t you? Not because I care about me so much, but because of you. We’re going to get through this. I promise. You believe me, don’t you?”
“‘Course I do, Doctor.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“I know.”
He paused and then kissed her on the forehead. “Alright, Miss Tyler, let’s have that cuppa,” he grinned.
| part 5 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
Rose felt helpless as the Doctor was ripped from her arms. She was shaking as a man helped her into the ambulance. She watched numbly as medical jargon was yelled from one person to the next, one pulling an oxygen mask over the Doctor’s face. He was strapped into a gurney, face gone pale. His freckles shone brightly and Rose would have thought him beautiful if he wasn’t dying under the sterile lights of the ambulance.
Everyone around her was faceless and their words foreign, every sound and sight warbled.
He couldn’t be dead. They only just started.
I came all this way.
The Doctorwrithed and his chest bounced as he was given the medical attention. Rose wanted to cry out, but she forgot how to speak.
They reached the nearest hospital and the Doctor was immediately carried to the Emergency Room. Rose found her feet still knew how to walk.
She spent three hours in the waiting room, chewing on her nails, biting her lip, not reading every magazine she could find. An hour in, Jackie was phoned and met Rose with a light hug, carrying Tony in her arms. They sat together, not knowing what to say. Tony played happily with the colorful, if chipped, blocks provided on a dirty rug.
It took Rose half an hour to figure out what to write on his information form. John Smith? 35? Blood type? The only thing she could be sure of was his sex. “Unknown”s filled half of the page. She stared at the line next to “relationship to patient”. I used to travel with him. Well, he’s a clone. I traveled with the original one. In a blue box. In outer space. In another universe. Cheers. Relationship? Girlfriend? Friend? Companion? Still figuring that one out.
Eventually, a nurse came out with assurance that he was stable, if critical and congratulating them on him saving a child’s life. To Rose, it felt perverse.
“Yeah, but can we see him?” Rose asked, twisting her hands.
“Of course. Follow me.” Jackie picked up Tony who yelled for his blocks, but quietened as they passed through the halls, which smelled unpleasantly of ammonia.
“Mummy, where we going?” asked Tony, playing with Jackie’s hair.
“We’re going to see Rose’s friend, sweetie. He’s going to live with us now. Isn’t that nice?” Tony nodded fervently.
They reached the room 223B. The nurse yanked the curtain around, revealing the Doctor in a hospital gown. His cheeks had more color in them than before, but he was still deathly pale. He had tubes in his mouth and around his nose, and his wrist and fingertip were connected to an IV. Rose felt like whimpering, but the Doctor needed her to be strong, even if he couldn’t see.
“He looks funny,” said Tony. “I like him.” Rose smiled.
“I’ll leave you alone,” the nurse said, smiling.
“Are you alright, love?” asked Jackie.
“‘M fine,” Rose responded quietly, pulling up a chair next to the Doctor. “Stupid, really. He jumped out in traffic. I should hate him right now.”
“Well, he was always a bit daft,” said Jackie, laughing a little. She fluffed up the Doctor’s pillows. “Are you alright to get home? I need to take Tony back and you probably want to stay here.” Rose nodded. “Alright. But don’t get too worked up, sweetie. They’ll take care of him here.” Jackie kissed her daughter on the cheek and spared one last glance at the Doctor before leaving with Tony for the mansion. Some twenty minutes later, Rose fell asleep, her head leaning against the Doctor’s steadily breathing form.
Abruptly, an unpleasant gurgling sound poked through her dreams, and she sprung awake. The Doctor’s eyes flashed around savagely. His hands, though heavy with weakness, found the tube feeding him air and life, and he tugged it away.
“Rose,” he gasped. “Hospital…bad. Got to… get out.”
“What? No, no, Doctor, you’re safe.” She pressed her hands against his shoulders as he struggled to sit up.
“No,” he said, his breaths struggling between words, “They’ll find out… alien. Hearts… scan… We’ve got to… leave.”
“Oh. Doctor. Doctor, no.” Couldn’t he remember? Rose felt desperate, ready to call on the next person she saw for guidance, but what would she say? Excuse me, my friend has amnesia and he thinks he’s still an alien, but he’s actually a clone of his. Could you please correct him? Rose shook her head. “Doctor, list’n. You’re not… We’re in ‘Pete’s World’, remember? The other universe. You’re half human.” She held her hand against his cheek and grazed her thumb over him. His eyes drained their vibrancy.
“Rose,” he only said, eyes flickering. “Rose.”
“I’m here.”
“I’m not him, am I?” He looked at her despairingly.
“No,” her voice cracked. It was important that he remembered who he was. The Doctor’s mouth parted and he looked as if he was going to cry. The man curled in on himself under the white sheets. “You’re more than that,” she pushed. “You’re mine.”
He let out a throttled sob that chaffed against his throat. “Mine,” he repeated looking in her eyes for affirmation.
“Yes. All mine.” Rose beamed. He watched her as she leaned against him. Rose’s hair splashed over him as he hugged her tightly, one hand with a pinched finger pressed against her back. The smell of her honeyed hair wafted and filled the tubes of every one one of his senses. He kissed her neck, and whispered, “Rose.” She could feel his warm breath against her and she did not move. He swept a hand through her hair, cradling her head, and savoring its softness in contrast to the scratchy hospital sheets.
She finally pulled away and said, “Don’t ever do that again. Don’t you ever do that to me again. I thought you were dead.”
His head cleared and he remembered the little girl running out into the gridlock. “Would you rather I didn’t?” he asked too harshly. “Would you rather she died?”
“No!” said Rose, astounded. “No, but you’ve only got one life now, Doctor. I don’t want you dead within the first 48 hours you’re here. You need to be more cautious. It’s not like you can go an’ change bodies, or fix yourself up in a healing coma or summat.” Rose felt the tempest unfurling within him.
“I couldn’t let her die, Rose,” he snarled, facing looking haggard and worn. Rose backed away. “You can’t possibly think I’d let that happen. Just because I’m part ape doesn’t mean I have to act like one.”
“Yes it does!” she snapped back. “What would I do if you died? Hm? What the hell am I supposed to do then? Bury you in the ground and then forget you? Because you know that wouldn’t happen, Doctor.” Her heart was drumming inside her chest. She wanted to slap him into common sense.
Born into fury was right.
“Rassilon, Rose! I can’t play your perfect little human! I’m still me, for god’s sake. Maybe it’s not good enough, but it’s all I have.”
They glared at each other, each one gauging the others anger.
“You have me,” said Rose quietly.
And then both spilled out, “I’m sorry”s and “you’re enough” and “I’ll be more careful” and “you’re more than enough”. Again, Rose fell into him gently. She knelt on the edge of his bed and kissed his temple.
“You’ve still got blood in your hair,” she whispered as she ran her hand through his hair. The brownish red substance was caked in his spikes. Some minutes later, she lay beside him, and the metal legs of the bed creaked. Rose nuzzled her head into his neck while he played with the tendrils of her hair. She fingered the paper bracelet on his wrist and said, “I’m glad you’re you.” He nodded, drifting back into sleep.
Yawning the Doctor said, “Me too. Although, I wish I didn’t have to sleep so much.” His eyes looked at Rose and unfocused, the curtain of unconsciousness veiling his tired body once more. “I miss you when I sleep.”
He began to snore, and Rose planted a kiss on his brow before getting off of the bed. Maybe being human was worth it after all.
| part 4 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
| part 1 |
Title: Fernweh
The word “fernweh” is a synonym for “wanderlust”. It literally means “farsickness”; “an ache for the distance”.
Pairing: TenToo/Rose
Characters: Rose Tyler, TenToo (metacrisis Doctor), Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Tony Tyler
Timeline/Setting: Directly after Journey’s End in Pete’s World.
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, Adventure
Rating: Teen
Summary: Rose and the Doctor try desperately to begin their new lives together in Pete’s World, but the image of a wolf keeps popping up places it shouldn’t.
